#55: The Sound of Music

Remember that wedding I told you about?  Well, it’s now officially one week until my flight leaves for Arizona.  This means that my job search will momentarily be put on hold while I fulfill my best man preparations, namely wrapping gifts, signing cards, writing my ENTIRE BEST MAN TOAST SPEECH!  I’m having a mini panic attack.  I haven’t prepared a speech since my public speaking class sophomore year (nor has anyone, I suppose).  I’m not usually nervous about speaking in public, but this occasion holds much more significance than a speech explaining what you did over the summer to a group of burnt out undergrads.  This is more  like the State of the Union for civilians.  And it’s been a long time since I’ve had homework.

Sound_of_musicSomehow, in the time that should have been spent writing this damn thing, I find the time to watch a three hour movie.  The Sound of Music (#55), is highly revered in my family.  It’s one of my mom’s favorite movies (she knows all the songs by heart, apparently) and it’s also the first film my dad ever saw as a child.  Over the years, I’ve watched bits and pieces on TV.  Thanks to various records, tapes and songbooks of my childhood, I was already well acquainted with the music.  But as far as sitting down and watching the film all of the way through, it’s a feat I had not yet accomplished.

Julie Andrews plays Maria, a spunky wannabe nun who is ordered by her Austrian convent to go out and give the real world a try.  Her mission: to tame the seven unruly Von Trapp children and turn them into a nationwide singing sensation.  Okay, the singing is more of a byproduct to loosen everyone up, especially their stern father, Captain Von Trapp (Chistopher Plummer).  But doesn’t it sound like a great sitcom or reality show idea?  Partridge Family meets American Idol, all the while fleeing the Nazi regime in Austria.  Sounds like Nielsen’s gold.  In the end, Maria eventually gains the affection of the children through her inspirational and educational songs.

Maybe I can take a page or two out of Maria’s book.  Let’s start at the very beginning (which she says is a very good place to start).  My speech will need an introduction, thanking everyone for coming, thanking Brandon for bestowing this great honor on me.  Perhaps it would be a good idea to introduce myself as well.  It should sound a little something like this:

“Er, um…I’m Brett, Brandon’s best man.  I live in Missouri with my parents and I have no job.  If you are in a position of power and would like to give me one, please see me after the reception.  For those who don’t know me, basically everyone here, I met Brandon when he moved in across the street.  The element that first brought us together was our common fascination with film.  From that point all the way to junior high, I would go over to Brandon’s house and watch movies.  Mostly because he had access to rated R movies, which were strictly forbidden to youngsters at my house…

Oh no.  Is that joke too off color?  Am I making Brandon’s mom and stepfather look like bad parents because they unknowingly let us watch violent, nudity ridden films right under their noses?  Will this unravel the very fabric of Brandon’s new family dynamic?  Will Brandon and Melissa get a divorce only an hour after their wedding?  Will Brandon’s parents ground him a whole 18 years after such incidents occurred?  I can’t do this.  I’m feeling too stressed.

But what would Maria say to do in one of her songs?  I know!  I’ll simply remember my favorite things, and then I won’t feel so bad!  Let’s see.  How about…

Beers in tall glasses and burritos with chicken

Small pups and D-cups and coasters that sicken

Drum solos, old books, and hot onion rings

These are a few of my favorite things.

That seemed to help.  Back to the speech.  I guess the point I want to emphasize the most in the toast is that Brandon holds a lot of passion and excitement for things in his life.  Upon meeting the guy, you wouldn’t perhaps pin him down as an overly outgoing guy.  His favorite things list would include European prog-metal, David Lynch movies, and funky camera shots (if you could find a way to rhyme that).  But I know that his overwhelming giddiness extends far beyond pop culture.  Brandon will undoubtedly treat his marriage with the same spirit and cheer that he gives every thing I’ve seen him take on in the past.

Now if I could find some way to put that into words and write it down.  Oh wait, I just did.  Already have a few toast lines in the bag.  Add in a few more embarrassing memories and memorable quotes, I’ll have this thing cranked out in no time.  And of course I’ll thank Rodgers and Hammerstein.  You know, for providing inspiration.

Brett HeadBrett HeadBrett HeadBrett Head4 out of 5 Brett Heads


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