Inglorious Itinerants

itinerant-noun: a person who alternates between working and wandering.

My grandpa called me this while on the phone with him.  I had to look up the word, but assumed it was some kind of “old-timey” put down.  Another example: my mother called me Jimmy Neutron.  Not because of my amazing intellect, but rather my new hair cut.  Not exactly related to my job status, but still stung a bit.

Actually, I don’t take offense to any of the names at all.  My grandpa’s pretty much dead on with his label.  Working as a custodian (NOT JANITOR!) for the school district followed by my joblessness (a word I can’t believe spell check didn’t spit back at me) means I’m a true itinerant.

Now here comes the part where I tell you about all the new things I’ve learned in this short period of my new job search and movie watching goal.

1. Watching 100 movies is hard. It may not seem like much, but when you look over a list of 100 films, the task seems daunting.  If I want to finish this list in a year, I’ll have to watch at least 1 movie every 3-4 days.  Yikes.

2. Finding a job is hard. I got this little uplifting message from a contact of mine: “It is a tough time in any industry to look for work.”  Wow.  So no matter what career path I pursue, my chances of finding work are as slim to none.  That’s reassuring.

3. “Job Search” is not always a valid excuse. My girlfriend brought this my attention, and boy was she right.  I seem to use my unemployed status as an excuse to blow off others at times (The phrase “You don’t understand, I DON’T HAVE A JOB” doesn’t cut it).  Making time for others (girlfriend, friends, family) and working with others’ schedules is something I can improve on.

4. All work and no play makes Brett a grouchy boy. Interspersing work time with playtime makes the process a little easier to swallow.  Resume and e-mail writing burns me out.  Rock Band and reading (not at the same time of course) serve as motivating rewards.  Not every minute of every day needs to be productive.

More movie reviews to follow and hopefully some good news on the job front too.

#100: Yankee Doodle Dandy

What better place to start on my film journey than with the worst of the best: Yankee Doodle Dandy at #100.

Just hearing the name, I assumed this film was some kind of epic, feel good Revolutionary War story.  Turns out I was wrong.  Unbeknownst to me, Yankee Doodle Dandy is one of those mega classic cornerstones of American cinema.  Apparently the film was too mainstream for my artsy, state university in southern Missouri.

Yankee Doodle Dandy showcases the life and times of George M. Cohan, an Irish-American Broadway playwright and actor (or so Wikipedia says).  Played by James Cagney, Cohan scores Broadway hit after hit with his rousing flag waving musicals.  We’re talking productions dripping with so much patriotism, Glen Beck would be bawling in the aisle.

Cohan is summoned by President FDR to appear at the White House over “urgent matters” (Cohan is freaked at this point).  During his meeting in the Oval Office, George feels comfortable blabbing his entire life story.  But the patient FDR (played by George Steinbrenner from Seinfeld) listens attentively as we enter a plot device/flashback.

FDR as Steinbrenner

Let me paint a picture of my movie watching vicinity at this point.  Upon finding out the film I was watching, my mom shrieked with excitement, shoved me off the couch and watched the entire movie with me.  My dad followed suit (though he eventually fell asleep facedown on the floor after an hour).  So we had a “gay old” family movie night against my will.  We even popped popcorn!

Not exactly what I had in mind for a relaxing evening.  After trying hard to conjure up a productive day, I looked forward to putting my feet up and watching this movie…ALONE.  The morning started off rotten when I found out that one of my professors passed away the previous day.  Though I only had two classes with him in college, his passing definitely shook me up.  Finding all my school e-mails completely gone and tweaking my resume for the billionth time didn’t help either.  It left me with what those in the psychological community call an “ooky feeling.”

But I was enjoying the movie, despite an uneventful day.  Thankfully my dad wasn’t snoring…yet.

The Cohan 4 in one of their politically correct musical numbers

Back in movie world, we meet Young George (comparable to a vaudeville Zac Efron).  His performing family, “The Cohan 4,” puts on song and dance shows that are only sometimes racist.  Eventually, George takes on Broadway alone.  He writes show tunes such as “Over There,” “Mary’s a Grand Old Name” and other songs only my grandparents would know.

Basically, the movie is a series of unbridled successful events with little conflict (Except one moment.  SPOILER ALERT: his dad dies).  The prosperity of Cohan’s life left me both inspired and bored.  At the end, we find out that FDR invited Cohan not to blacklist him,  but to award him the Congressional Medal of Honor for songwriting (an honor I didn’t know existed).

Yankee Doodle Dandy was released during the height of WWII.  This leads me to believe that the film’s main purpose was to rally Americans and urge them to buy war bonds or something.  Thus, peace was restored.  All thanks to James Cagney’s tap-dancing feet.  And I guess that’s something worth saluting.

3 out of 5 Brett Heads

No job, no paycheck, no problem: Brettflix Takes on AFI’s Top 100

Let’s recap.  Between now and the last time I “blogged” (how many ever eons ago that was), I gained a college degree, moved back in with my parents, worked a summer job, quit a summer job, and trudged through all of the heartache along the way.

You might believe this summer to have a fairy tale ending.  A story about me overcoming the adversity of a sluggish job market and persevering to gain a fully independent adult life.  Working a “big boy job.”  Living in a place of my own.  Making an adequate salary.  Residing near my ever wonderful girlfriend, Amanda.

Hundreds of e-mails, countless job searches, numerous applications, and one interview later, I still don’t have a “big boy job,” nor am I any closer to living in close proximity of my girlfriend.

With all of these things in mind, there seems to be only one thing to do: scour the globe for jobs in a completely different location than where my girlfriend lives and watch A LOT of movies in the process.  Well, I guess that’s two things.

And not just any movies.  It’s been my lifelong ambition to watch all 100 of “AFI’s Greatest Movies of All Time.” (Maybe not lifelong, but at least since 1998 when the list came out)  Having graduated with a media degree, it seems appropriate to screen all these movies.  How else am I supposed to get material for making hip/snotty comments at parties? (“The Graduate is great, but come on: French New Wave totally jumped the shark when Hollywood started copying Godard.”)

Chances are I won’t be able to put this accomplishment on any resume, but what better opportunity to take this list on when I have little money and lots of time.  Perhaps these classic films will provide life lessons and inspiration as I make the journey into the great unknown of “the real world.”

And have no fear Brettflix bloggers.  I’ll of course be posting the progress of my film watching and job searching goal along the way.  I might view the films in order, I might mix them up, who knows.  I DO KNOW that my posts will be filled with the narcissistic witticisms, wisdom, and wisecracks that you’ve learned to love.

So pop some pop-corn, sneak in with a box of Milk Duds hidden in your purse, and grab a comfy seat covered in hardened chewing gum & artificial butter topping because the Brettflix feature presentation is about to begin (after 30 minutes of previews).  To quote Bette Davis in All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy year.  You know with the economy and all.”  Something like that.

Even With Too Many “Mutha’ uckas,” Conchords Soar in St. Louis

The funniest band/comedy duo in the room?  You betcha!

My girlfriend and I had the privilege of seeing funny folk group Flight of the Conchords in St. Louis this past week.  Performing to a sold out crowd at the Fox Theatre, the New Zealand pair definitely had the audience by the sugarlumps for the entire show, even when the crowd tried to take over.

The best photo I could get from our vantage point. That's Jemaine on the right, Bret in the center, and Nigel (the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra) on the left.

Those hoping to see the band blandly play through the Conchords catalogue, thus fanboy wishes fulfilled, were in for a disappointment.  Instead, Bret and Jemaine treated the crowd to what felt like an impromptu, stream of consciousness show.  Though they did perform such FOTC favorites as “Robots,” “Hurt Feelings,” and “Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor,” you could tell that the show you were watching was different from the one the night before.  

Interspersed throughout the Conchords set list were delightful comedic bantering (which they dubbed as professional talking) and audience interactions.  One such example that sent the crowd into an uproar was when Jemaine removed his blue dress shirt to reveal a St. Louis Cardinals T-shirt (which he wore for the entire concert).  Off the cuff changes to songs and topical humor (swine flu) drove me to gleeful squeals.  Bret and Jemaine mostly performed as the Conchords you know and love, but were accompanied at times by the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra (aka one frizzy haired guy who can and looks like he can play every instrument imaginable).

Bret & Jemaine's robot helper takes a picture of the crowd as I take a picture of them taking a picture.

However, there were a number of aspects audience members couldn’t grasp on to.  For one, Bret and Jermaine as Conchords are fictional characters.  Shouts from our section called out “Where’s Murray?” (the band’s manager on the show).  Bret responded, “That’s like asking Harrison Ford what’s it like working with Darth Vader.”  Once one person yelled, it turned into monkey see monkey do, eventually becoming a free for all and disrupting the flow of the show.  I can see that because a FOTC performance is one part comedy show and one part concert, the lines of theatre etiquette are blurry.  However, being the professionals that they are, the two kiwis didn’t skip a beat, turning heckles into audience insult gold.

Sadly, the Conchords plan on making the second season of their HBO series the last.  One heckler shouted, “Season three,” in which Jermaine shouted back, “You make season three.”  Bret and Jemaine know that the joke can’t go on forever.  Hearing the crowd clamor for the played out, but still hilarious, song “Business Time” makes me draw the same conclusion.  The boys of Flight of Conchords are too talented to forever be destined as frat guy fodder.  Seeing the musical magic of Bret and Jermaine in person makes you realize that these Conchords are ready to spread their wings and soar to bigger and better things.

My Name Is Slumdog: Kindly Rewinding Through Recent Movie Reviews

Sorry for the dry spell.  Fear not.  Brett man’s got a fresh crop of movie reviews for your enjoyment!

 

My Name Is Bruce

Like any blood soaked B-movie, My Name Is Bruce has its fair share of bad editing, nauseating dialogue, and forced plot devices.  But at the end of the day, Campbell excels at making fun of himself while still maintaining his “Ash-hole” persona.  If you’re a Bruce Campbell fan, you’ll love it.  If not, maybe worth a watch.  If you don’t know who Bruce Campbell is, well…it’s your loss.

 

3 out of 5 Brett heads

 

 

Be Kind Rewind

You might think to yourself, “Jack Black and Mos Def recreating Ghostbusters?  Sign me up!”  But those looking forward to screwball comedy antics in Be Kind Rewind will surely be disappointed.  Though Michel Gondry’s unique visuals add a quaint magical realism factor to the story, the film’s downfall is its attempt to reveal a larger theme that unfortunately misses the mark by a long shot. 

 

2 out of 5 Brett heads

              

 

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire definitely finds itself in the critical “hot seat” for those (like myself) who saw the film after winning Best Picture at the Academy Awards.  Even with that being the case, the movie’s vignette style of storytelling is entertaining without becoming too stale.  Danny Boyle provides a cinematography and editing feast for the eyes.  But in the end, the film doesn’t ratchet up the stakes quite enough, leaving viewers with a fairly predictable ending.

 

3 out of 5 Brett heads

       

Monster Mash: Monsters vs Aliens is a 3-D Smash

In a day in age when the phrase, “I’ll just catch it on DVD” is heard more and more, it’s refreshing to see a film that pays homage to the movie theatre experience.  Or at least doesn’t make you regret spending $9 on a ticket.

From left to right The Missing Link (Will Arnett), Dr. Cockroach Ph. D. (Hugh Laurie), and B.O.B. (Seth Rogen)

Monsters vs Aliens 3-D is such a film.  Featuring more sci-fi tropes and eye popping action (quite literally in some cases) than your average CG movie, you might feel good enough to buy a tub of popcorn too.

After being struck by a glowing meteorite on her wedding day, Susan (voiced by Reese Witherspoon) transforms into a fifty foot woman and is transported by the government to a top secret monster bunker, never to be seen again.  But when alien dictator Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) sends a robot probe to retrieve the mysterious meteorite substance on earth, the government calls on the monsters to stop him from taking over the world.

The big star of the film is the recognizable and entertaining cast.  Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, and Seth Rogen as three unlikely monster all-stars provide endless amounts of slapstick gags and adult references (Seth Rogen as gelatinous monster B.O.B. attempts to pick up a Jello mold).  The standout performance is undoubtedly Stephen Colbert as President Hathaway.  The film is worth seeing just to watch Hathaway interact with the aliens for the first time by playing an 80′s synth, dance remix of the Close Encounters of the Third Kind theme.

But the real reason to see the film is the added 3-D element.  After seeing the movie, my girlfriend commented, “I wish all movies were in 3-D.”  And it’s true.  The growing trend of 3-D films really makes going to the movies fun again.  And the filmmakers know when to push the right visual buttons (The entire theatre gasped upon seeing a scientist smack a paddle ball into the audience during the opening sequence).

Don’t wait until this movie comes out on DVD.  Cough up the extra dough to see it in 3-D.  The truth is out there…at the theatre.

 

 

 

4 out of 5 Brett heads

Brettflix Meets Netflix

Every time someone signs up for Netflix, an angel gets its wings.

Yes, that’s right boys and girls, I have re-subscribed to Netflix, the silent killer of video stores everywhere. It is only a matter of time before those little red envelopes begin pouring into my mailbox once again. Well, at least a trickle of them under my one at a time unlimited plan.

About this time every year, I sign up for Netflix. Perhaps it’s something in the spring air that makes me want to watch an unlimited torrent of movies that I will never have the time to watch. However, there have been vast improvements to Netflix technology that will no doubt keep me thirsty for more. Case in point: being able to watch Netflix movies over XBOX Live.

In other Netflix news, the online movie rental site just shipped out its 2 billionth DVD. The lucky film? Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist on Blu-Ray. Clay Shannon of Alabama was the lucky recipient. When told by Netflix she could keep the special disc, Shannon responded, “Then how am I supposed to get the next DVD in my queue?”

My DVD and Instant Watch Queue

Slumdog Millionaire

Be Kind Rewind

My Name Is Bruce

South Park: Season 1

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

Blade Runner

Left 4 Dead: Raimi Wants Campbell’s Boomstick

Get your chainsaw appendages fueled up because the book of the dead has once again been opened.  According to a recent interview with Empire, Sam Raimi is already 9 pages into a fourth installment of his Evil Dead franchise.  Word on the street is that he wants Bruce Campbell to reprise the role of Ash.

Even though that within the last few years, Raimi has been a tease about the likelihood of a fourth Evil Dead film (at one point, a remake starring Ashton Kutcher was rumored.  Blah.), this time it sounds like he’s really ready to kick some Deadite butt.  And who has he been fantasizing about as his pen strokes paper?  None other than everyone’s favorite big chinned B-movie actor Bruce Campbell.

Campbell has recently made a career out of… well, being Bruce Campbell.  Just check out recent projects like My Name Is Bruce or the TV show Burn Notice.  Campbell will no doubt be able to slip right back into the role if he signs on.  Who else could play the part?

Raimi hasn’t mentioned anything about the plot of the film, but I definitely like the idea of an aging, overweight demon hunter going through a mid-life crisis.

Guitar Hero Metallica: For Whom the Bell Dulls?

I spent some time clinking through the ridiculously complicated guitar riffs of the Guitar Hero Metallica XBOX demo.  For the record, my game experience was further hindered by the lack of a calibration feature, thus explaining my many fails.  Luckily, my self esteem drained just as the batteries on my controller were doing the same.  

The full game boasts an impressive set list of full band songs spanning Metallica’s longtime career (not to mention a kick ass intro video).  I would call myself a fair-weather Metallica fan.  Enjoyed “the old stuff” in high school, bailed after St. Anger, and jumped back on the bandwagon for Death Magnetic.  The game seems to have enough to satisfy even my level of enthusiasm for the band.

However, the new trend of band specific titles has the potential to alienate some fans of guitar based games.  In my opinion, they’re not really pushing the entertainment level that comes with banging on a plastic drum set while munching on a few chips in between songs.  

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited for the new Beatles Rock Band, but I have less excitement for a rumored Guitar Hero Van Halen or existing Guitar Hero Aerosmith (although I love Aerosmith).  I get no real enjoyment from controlling an aging rock musician.  Creating your own band and playing the songs are what matters.

What I’m getting at is that there’s more to being a rock star than the music.  Keep the little colored notes coming, but it’s time to add another layer.  Here are a few rock band demands that could really kick the fun factor into overdrive rather than drying out the cash cow.

More Than Just Checking Off Songs

I could play an eight song set list and not even break a sweat or even really care about the impact.  Creators should focus on adding a “sim” element to future games.  Bass player not showing up to practice?  Smoking hot backstage Betty by the bar?  Big record exec in the crowd? Interact with others to add a band story element to the game as well as effect how you play on stage.  If you play a good show, you could kick the bass man out, get a phone number, and score a record deal all in one night.  But a 3 star performance might send you back to playing open mic nights.

Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll

Rock musicians in the video game world live a pretty squeaky clean life.  Not so for real rock artists.  The creators can’t exactly okay the idea of youngsters making characters with a nasty speed habit, but it could add an interesting layer to the game. Let’s say your guitar player hit the bottle a little too hard at the pre-show party.  Thus, during your set, the moving notes blur and flicker, making the song more difficult to play through your inebriation.  If you beat the song, more money.  If not, you’ll think twice about that last shot.

Welcome to Brettflix!

Dear Brettflix Blog Viewer, 

Welcome to your soon to be source for all of the narcissistic book, music, movie, and media coverage you can handle.  

You might read a future blog post and say, “Brett, why are you writing this?  I don’t care about (insert aging prog-rock band or fanboy TV show).”  Make no bones about it.  This blog is not about the media you are interested in, it is about the media I am interested in.  

I will be posting reviews and rants about various CDs, TV shows, films, video games, books, etc. that I find important.  If you happen to derive any kind of enjoyment or information from these posts, it is merely a byproduct.  

However, feel free to post comments.  I always love the opportunity to hear what someone has to say and then explain to them how I am right.  

Have fun looking around.  Perhaps on the lowest level, you’ll be able to chuckle every once in a while at my many ill-fated attempts at humor and media savviness.

 

Hugs and kisses,

Brett

Founder of Brettflix

PS: For those of you who are a little “slow,” let me spell it out.  This is not an online movie rental site.  Stop asking to borrow movies from me.  However, feel free to send me your money.